Book Review: “The Gift of Sex: A Guide to Sexual Fulfillment” by Clifford and Joyce Penner
Spicy! I know. I don’t know if this is the kind of book that one discusses over coffee?
Where did I get it?
I don’t know. I’ve had this book for a very long time. someone gave it to us when we were married in 1994. I know that, because there’s a printed sticker on the fly leaf with our names and very first address.
That’s right, we are coming up on 30 years this December… and didn’t read this till now. Before receiving this book, we had been given “Intended for Pleasure” by Ed and Gail Wheat. It was a smaller book and I’ve read it a couple of times. I was told it was the Christian classic resource on the topic.
This just seemed bigger and didn’t have anyone referencing it. So, it sat on the shelf. Till now.
What’s it about?
Seriously? That’s a question with a title like that?
This book was published in 1981, and I would guess that it’s part of the need for Christian perspective and teaching on the topic because of the sexual revolution in our culture.
How about we just let the Table of Contents do the work?
This was meant to be comprehensive. The authors had spent considerable time studying the available scientific literature and relating it to Christians. I looked them up and they are still holding seminars, writing and teaching.
What did I think?
Overall it was superb, but I had two qualms.
First, it was a whole new concept for me to read how the authors encouraged the marriage partners to take responsibility for their own pleasure. I had been instructed that in the Christian marriage we are to serve one another with love, putting the other first. Paul writes:
“For you were called to be free, brothers and sisters; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. -- Galatians 5:13 (CSB)
I’m still meditating on that one, not sure yet if I’m ready to accept their recommendation.
Second, it was their recommendations around masturbation. They didn’t condemn it, but talked about how it could be an acceptable thing to release pressure, to learn your own body and so forth. This view fit within their overall attitude of positivity towards sex. They made an attempt at countering the popular passages used to prohibit masturbation, but I am still not convinced. The Apostle Paul again:
“For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you keep away from sexual immorality, that each of you knows how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not with lustful passions, like the Gentiles, who don’t know God. -- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (CSB)”
Conclusion:
For years, I’ve recommended in pre-marital counseling that couples get in the habit of reading books. Each year, they should read a novel, a book on money, history, theology, parenting, marriage, sex and so forth. It’s a good habit to get into.
It’s been reported that it was Charlie "Tremendous" Jones who said:
"You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read." -- Charlie "Tremendous" Jones
So, I finally got around to reading this book. Overall it was excellent. I learned some things that were helpful. I’m still wrestling with the two ideas listed above.
What about you? What do you think is the classic sex book for Christians? What book should I read next year (if I continue to follow my own advice!)?
soon!
andy
