Book Review: “The Men We Need: God’s Purpose for the Manly Man, the Avid Indoorsman, or Any Man Willing to Show Up” by Brant Hansen
If we went for a coffee today, we could talk about this book.
How did I get the book?
My brother, Ben Falleur, is an associate pastor at Calvary Chapel Palm Harbor in Florida. He had read this book last year and recommended it heartily to me. I think I snagged it off of their church library shelf, or it’s possible that he gave me a copy. I don’t remember exactly.
What is it about?
It’s describing true masculinity and how to get there from a Christian perspective.
The book is separated into two parts. In the beginning section Brant clarifies what manhood or masculinity is. His overarching definition comes from the creation account in Genesis and is expressed in the phrase “keeper of the garden.” In the first section, he explores all the areas of typical masculine behaviour and ways of being in light of that overarching theme.
The second section is the how to get there part, and it is by making six significant decisions. They are:
Forsake the Fake and Relish the Real
Protect the Vulnerable
Be Ambitious About the Right Things
Make Women and Children Feel Safe, Not Threatened
Choose Today Who You Will Become Tomorrow
Take Responsibility For Your Own Spiritual Life
The book included a set of discussion questions to facilitate a small group meeting.
What did I think about it?
Before I tell you why I liked the book, let me first tell you what I struggled with.
For whatever reason, it’s probably me, this book was a chore to read. I found Brant’s style to be unnecessarily playful. He’s incredibly witty. I’d wager that as a speaker, he’s highly engaging.
It became difficult for me to finish because it was too much “style” to wade through to get to the nut. But, that’s me. And, I’m sure the editor and the publisher wanted his voice and style to come through in the writing. I haven’t heard him speak. Maybe the book was meant to be a support to his live events.
The content however, and the ideas, and the message is superb, and needs to be told and shared and broadcast. This is the vision of masculinity that should be adopted by every Christian man.
Here’s a couple of quotes that stood out to me.
This is from the chapter called “Yes, You Should Shelter Your Kids” within Decision 2: “Protect the Vulnerable.”
“A very wise counselor friend of mine… said the correct answer to the question ‘when should I get my child a smartphone?’ is ‘Whenever you want their childhood to end.’
Your kid gets just one childhood, and they get just one you to protect it.”
The chapter called “Angry Men Aren’t Attractive to Women, but Men of Action Are” from Decision 6: “Take Responsibility For Your Own Spiritual Life” opens with this quote:
We humans like being angry much of the time. It gives us a self-righteous rush. Plus there’s often real hurt that causes the anger in the first place, and it’s so very difficult to say, “I’m forgiving this person, even though they don’t deserve it.”
In the chapter called “The Dangerous Myth of ‘As Long As I’m Not Hurting Someone Else” from Decision 6: “Take Responsibility For Your Own Spiritual Life“ tells the story of his friend Greg who…
“grew up in an era of video games and easily accessed pornography. At some point in his college years, he could have said, ‘You know what? I’m going to hole up in my room and collapse inwardly. I’m going to just play and amuse myself. As long as I’m not hurting someone else, what does it matter?’
Thankfully, he didn’t do that. Instead, he rose to the occasion and finish college. He then got into medical school parentheses he says he still doesn’t know how he made it in parentheses and worked very hard. He’s now a pediatric, cardiac anesthesiologist.
Greg is remarkably good at putting scared little kids to sleep and putting their parents at these two. He has five kids of his own and a wife who respects him deeply. Because of his desire to emulate Jesus, he spent months travelling through developing nations parentheses, often taking his family in parentheses, serving in hospitals for the poorest people in the world. He’s provided first class care to some of the most desperate little patients in the world and train more doctors to do the same.
His field is tricky, and there are horrific consequences when the work is done poorly. There’s no doubt his dedication and willingness to be a keeper of the garden has saved the lives of the vulnerable.
So the obvious question: if he had, in fact, collapsed and handled himself over to video games and porn, what if “hurt “anyone?
Of course, but he wouldn’t have known it. We would’ve missed out on the man he was supposed to be.
This is not an exaggeration. Because of the choices Greg has made, many moms and dads haven’t had to attend funerals for their own children.
When we men take our seriously, when we’re at our best, those are the kind of things that happened. Healing. Peace. Life.
And when we don’t, distortion, anxiety, violence, and meaningless, fill the gap.
Conclusion:
Overall, this is a very good book, and one that’s needed in the hands and hearts and heads of Christian men’s groups everywhere. The concepts here would make an excellent curriculum for Adult Sunday School classes, youth groups, young adult groups and men’s groups.
What resources about manhood have you come across? Is there something you would recommend? Have you heard Brant speak? What was it like?
Comments and feedback are always welcome. It’s a conversation over coffee after all…
andy